


Maybe January Light Will Consume My Heart

by the_sky_is_forever



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, New Year's Eve, New Year's Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 19:18:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5597734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_sky_is_forever/pseuds/the_sky_is_forever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's New Years and Enjolras doesn't have someone to kiss. For reasons he doesn't know, this makes him sadder than it usually would. Grantaire looks after him while he's sad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe January Light Will Consume My Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [can_i_get_a_hell_yeah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/can_i_get_a_hell_yeah/gifts).



> i wrote this because i'm pretty sad tonight for some reason and also a little drunk and i dont have anyone to kiss either. this is... a little too biographical i'll be real, except i wanted enjolras to get the happy ending i'm not getting.

Enjolras sighs, looking at the happy couples around him, trying to smile and be happy for the New Year. It’s hardly his fault he’s the only one without someone to kiss. Or maybe it is. Maybe he works too much, maybe he doesn’t spend enough time getting to know people, maybe he doesn’t put himself out there enough.

He struggles to keep his smile up as the clock chimes twelve and the room erupts into cheers and celebrations of love. Another year, another realisation of his loneliness.

His eyes are drawn to the various couples as they kiss and embrace. Combeferre and Courfeyrac grinning into each other’s mouths; Joly, Bossuet, and Musichetta taking it in turns to kiss, the other kissing necks and cheeks; Jehan, Bahorel, and Feuilly kissing passionately; Cosette and Marius with Cosette’s legs wrapped around Marius waist as they kiss sweetly; Éponine and Montparnasse drunk and laughing as they share the same breath; and Grantaire, kissing Floréal, and Enjolras wonders if they’re together or not, standing alone with a glass of champagne.

Enjolras edges past the group, heading out of the house to go outside. Bahorel catches his arm. “You alright?”

“I just need some air,” Enjolras lies. “I drank too much, I guess.” He smiles, ruefully, and Bahorel guffaws and lets him go.

Outside, it’s cold, but not as cold as it should be for the end of December, the start of January. He puts his glass of champagne down on the ground and sits down. He breathes out and watches his breath fog the air in front of him. Fireworks go off in the distance, over the rooves of the houses in the neighbourhood, and Enjolras smiles faintly at their beautiful colours. He takes a sip of his drink and swallows before breathing in the cool air deeply.

The door opens behind him with a soft click and Enjolras doesn’t bother to turn his head to see who’s followed him out. He waits for them to join him patiently, closing his eyes and leaning back on his hands. They sit down beside him and he says, “You know, I’ve never kissed someone on New Year’s.”

Grantaire replies, “It’s no different to kissing someone on any other day,” and Enjolras opens his eyes to look at him.

“I didn’t expect it to be you,” Enjolras says.

“Me that what?” Grantaire asks.

“Followed me,” Enjolras answers. He shrugs. “I didn’t expect anyone to. You’re all too happy.”

Grantaire’s face twists. “And you’re not?” he asks.

“Not particularly,” Enjolras says, softly. He lets his head fall back, looking up at the sky, and then rocks it round to see Grantaire. “You okay?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Grantaire says, somewhat heavily. “I don’t know.”

“Yeah,” Enjolras agrees.

Grantaire looks at Enjolras seriously. They both look far too sombre for such a cheerful night. “You want to kiss someone this New Year’s?”

Enjolras swallows. “What about Floréal?”

“She’s just my friend,” Grantaire says. “We just wanted someone to kiss, too.”

“Oh,” Enjolras says.

“So?” Grantaire asks. “Would you like to?”

Enjolras shrugs. He looks away. “No,” he decides.

“Alright,” Grantaire says. “Can I have your drink?”

“Sure thing,” Enjolras says, passing it over. He runs a hand through his hair, sighing. “I’m so tired of being single, you know? I love my friends, and I’m so thankful for all the love in my life, but I want someone I can be intimate with, you know? Someone to hold me.”

“I know what you mean,” Grantaire says. “All my friends – our friends – are so good. And I’m not saying that they’re not enough for me, but I… I want to kiss someone and mean it, just once in my life.”

“Yeah,” Enjolras sighs. “Happy fucking New Year,” he adds, somewhat grumpily.

“Happy fucking New Year,” Grantaire echoes. He lies down on the ground, stretching out and letting the almost empty glass topple from his hand, spilling the sparkling liquid over the concrete. Enjolras lies down with him. He curls in towards Grantaire.

In a small voice he asks, “Hold me?”

Without saying a word, Grantaire wraps an arm around Enjolras and pulls him in. “I’ve got you,” he whispers, and Enjolras completely falls apart.

He whimpers, pressing his face against Grantaire’s side. “I don’t know why I’m so sad,” he mumbles, his tears falling from his eyes and seeping into Grantaire’s shirt.

“That’s okay,” Grantaire says. “I rarely know why I’m sad.”

“Yeah, but you have depression,” Enjolras mutters.

“True,” Grantaire says. “You’re allowed to be sad without reason, Enjolras. Maybe you’ve not had a chance to be sad in a while and it’s all catching up to you.”

“Yeah,” Enjolras says, “maybe.” He sniffs. He lifts a hand to wipe his eyes. He presses in closer to Grantaire.

The door opens, and someone makes a soft surprised noise. Enjolras doesn’t look up to see who it is, and Grantaire makes a movement, and then the door shuts and nobody joins them. Enjolras assumes Grantaire waved them away.

It’s so cold, lying on the floor, but the alcohol in their system makes them feel warmer than they are, so it’s easy to ignore. Enjolras wraps himself around Grantaire, clinging to him, and Grantaire holds him tighter. Enjolras begins to openly cry and Grantaire makes soothing noises, petting his hair lightly. “Get it all out,” Grantaire murmurs.

It takes a long while for Enjolras to settle down, and when he does Grantaire is still stroking his hair and making soft comforting sounds. “You alright?” he asks, gently.

“No,” Enjolras says. He looks up at Grantaire. “Is that New Year’s kiss still on offer?”

“Of course,” Grantaire says. “Are you sure, though?”

“Yeah,” Enjolras whispers, and he lifts his body a little to align their mouths. He breathes out, and then in, smelling the alcohol on Grantaire’s lips. “Are you? You’ve had a lot to drink.”

“I’m nowhere near drunk, I promise,” Grantaire says, softly.

“Kiss me, then,” Enjolras says, and Grantaire lifts his head off the ground and presses his lips against Enjolras’, sliding a hand into his hair and letting his eyes fall shut. They kiss languidly, a hint of tongues happening naturally as they kiss.

Grantaire pulls away at last, breathing in sharply as their mouths part. He lets his head fall back and a smile slips onto his lips. “Well, in the first hour of this year, you got someone to hold you, and I got to kiss someone and mean it. Goals for 2016 complete,” he says with a grin.

“Yeah?” Enjolras asks, smiling down at him. “You meant it?”

“I did,” Grantaire replies, completely unashamed of the fact.

“That’s nice,” Enjolras says, and he lets his head fall onto Grantaire’s chest. “I’m glad.”

“You’re glad I meant it?” Grantaire asks.

“I am,” Enjolras says. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah, that’s okay,” Grantaire says. He closes his eyes and strokes Enjolras’ hair gently.

Enjolras lifts his head and looks down at Grantaire’s peaceful expression. He slowly leans down, watching Grantaire’s face for any changes, and he presses a careful closed-mouth kiss to Grantaire’s lips, letting his eyes fall closed for the seconds that they’re connected. He looks down at Grantaire from a few inches away. Grantaire opens his eyes and looks up at him. “I-” Enjolras starts, but Grantaire cuts him off.

“We should go inside before we catch our deaths,” he says in a rush.

“Oh,” Enjolras says. “Yeah, alright.”

Enjolras gets up first, and then holds out a hand to help Grantaire to his feet. Their hands don’t part when they’re on their feet. Grantaire leads Enjolras into the warmth, and just inside the doorway he turns and catches Enjolras’ mouth in a kiss, firm and real.

“Grantaire,” Enjolras whispers when they part. “Is this… Is this just tonight? Is it just because I’m upset and you’re trying to comfort me… or is it more?”

Grantaire presses their foreheads together. “That depends on what you want,” he says.

Enjolras breathes out shakily. “I want more, Grantaire,” he says weakly. “Oh, God, I want more.” He kisses Grantaire hard on the mouth for less than a second. “I think I _love_ you, Grantaire.”

“Oh,” Grantaire says, sounding soft and shocked and happy. “Oh,” he says again, and there’s a blissful smile on his face as he gazes at Enjolras. “Happy New Year, Enjolras,” he says, smiling happily.

“Happy New Year, Grantaire,” Enjolras replies, and there’s not much talking after that.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope your new years is happy and that you all have a great year and do amazing things <3
> 
> I have a writing blog: theskyis-forever come say hi and leave a prompt :)
> 
> also, if you enjoyed this: [buy me a coffee?](http://ko-fi.com/A831F9U)


End file.
